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The Sailor Moon Humor List
You know you watch way too much SM when...
-you were arrested in the Louvre in France for placing a sailor uniform over the Venus De Milo.
-while touring Italy, you spotted Serena and Rini visiting the local restaurants, which is their
idea of a tourist attraction.
-it's obvious that the Luna Pen is mightier than the sword (almost).
-the Moon Kingdom is now a member of the United Nations.
-some Aerosmith songs come to mind: Crazy, Angel, Livin' on the Edge, Take me to the other
side, Dude looks like a lady, etc.
-the Robotech maintenace crew has just repainted your Veritech Squadron in Sailor colours.
-seeing Serena as a spy for the British Secret Service makes you think, "The name's Moon,
-Melvin just happens to be your new math tutor.
-your favorite cheerleader now sports the sailor uniform.
-you send a Battlemech to the Moon to do battle against the enemies, but hope you don't
accidentally smash over the ruins of the Moon Kingdom.
-you search the local Mensa group for Amy Anderson.
-your local sporting goods store now sells the Luna Ball for your favorite kind of sport.
-Goku accidentally mistook the Luna Ball for the last Dragon Ball.
-during the winter, the SFX crew shouted "Mars fire, ignite !" just before they activated the
-your dad mistook the Phantom of the Opera and his mistress for Darien and Serena.
-you infiltrated NASA to access the Hubble Telescope in hopes of finding the Negaverse.
-Lita invited you over to her room, and you noticed some "shocking" posters: Sailor Jupiter,
Raiden, Zeus, Merlin ....
-some MC Hammer songs come to mind: Can't touch this, Have U seen her, 2 Legit 2 Quit, etc.
-you and your friends visit an air-conditioned room for a blast of wicked cool air.
-just watching it makes you wanna say, "Oh My Goddess".
-you were hoping that an SM convention would be held at the local planetarium.
-you and your fiancee attend the Duo Bodybuilding Championships, and you've both heard that
the first team up will be Darien & Serena, Molly & Melvin, Amy & Greg, Malachite & Zoysite, etc.
-instead of "Moon Prism Power", Serena should've said "Reboot" !
-even though you don't want to risk divorce, you've got second thoughts of buying an
anniversary ring for your fiancee since it could drain his/her energy.
-you were hoping for any one Scout to shout "Shoryu-ken" !!!
-the SM theme song is now the anthem for the Navy each morning.
-for all the monsters SM has killed so far, you wonder if her other favorite arcade game is Killer
-the closest Sailor Scout you could find in the arcades is Sailor Sakura from Street Fighter
-at the Indy 500, the announcer shouts,
"On behalf of the Moon, start your engines !!!"
-Katzy just happens to be your cosmetics salesperson for today.
-Rumiko Takahashi has just made the Official SM parody. In this case, the Scouts would be,
Ranma, Akane, Mariko, Kasumi, Nabiki, Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi, etc.
-you saw that the baseball scoreboard read "strikes, balls, and outies" !
-even the Simpsons say "Woo-hoo" when the show is on.
-Alan just happens to be the newest member of the flute section of your school's music
-your girlfriend has this sudden urge to go New York State, specifically a theme park called
"Darien" Lake (located outside Buffalo.).
-even Star Trekkers have to admit that the Sailor Scouts are boldly going where no one's gone
-your boyfriend won the bet that Lita is the better cook over C-ko.
-your favorite snack is the Mars Bar.
-even Bill Gates wants in on the trend and buys the artwork for the next Windows system
-Tuxedo Mask won't ever be the man formerly known as Prince Darien.
-your friend notices Dennis Rodman sporting blue-dyed hair.
-you wonder if George Lucas was the one who named the guy "Jedi-te".
-your sister spotted Serena chasing Rini during the Boston Marathon.
-the show's on, and your friends yell, "Whoomp, there she is !"
-you and your fiancee think twice about spending your honeymoon on a cruise line, fearing
Jedite could be there.
-you saw the televised interview which the leading astronaut said, "On behalf of the Moon, we'll
explore the Lunar surface and establish a colony base there."
-your University's Computing Science Club now has established a shrine for Amy and Melvin as
-your French teacher says "Bonjour" while you say "Konnichi Wa".
-your local Pizza Hut renames their Spaghetti & Meatballs dinner (another SM moniker) to the
-you hired the WWF (World Wrestling Federation, not the World Wildlife Fund) to do color
commentary for the fighting scenes.
-the metereologist spots the nearby thunderstorm, thinking Mother Nature is probably saying,
"Jupiter Thunder Crash !!!".
-your niece has spotted Zoysite as a bodyguard (talking to Elvis) outside the new (!) dance
-you've just seen Nephlyte working in an exotic car dealership.
-your favorite hockey shouts "Slapshot attack power !!!".
-the famous jumping bus scene from Speed & Spy Hard reminds you of the episode which
Serena took one into the Negaverse.
-your friend has seen a fountain replica of the Venus De Milo outside Mina's home.
-instead of the traditional angel, your mom has placed the SD (Super Deformed) SM doll on top
of the X-Mas tree.
-you noticed that Lita's Home's Roof has a lightning rod near the antenna.
-even Elmer Fudd (not as the hunter this time) mistook her for that wascally wabbit, Bugs
-the In-Fisherman TV crew spotted the Serena and the others (and Darien) catching some
largemouth bass, walleye, and others, but aren't even regisitered for the competition !!!
-you wanted to find the DeLorean car used in "Back to the Future" so that you can travel in time
to both the Moon Kingdom and the New Crystal Tokyo Kingdom.
-even your science prof. accidentally said that some of the elements and crystals are named
after the SM characters. (e.g. Neptunium, Uranium, Plutonium, Beryllium, Manga-nese,
Endymium, Selenium, Mercury, Malachite, etc.)
-at your favorite baseball game, the umpire shouts after the anthem was played, "On behalf of
the Moon, let's play ball !!!".
-your music teacher laughed his/her head off after hearing this to the tune of the Sound of
-Do, a deer, a female deer .....
-Raye, the one who's Sailor Mars .....
-Mi-nako is Sailor Venus ..... (you get the idea)
-you actually got 3M Corp. to produce the Post-It note of the one Raye uses to freeze enemies.
-you and your friends actually got the Internet Provider to give you the personalized Email
-your sister hoped that her compact would play music when opened.
-you just saw Amy and her family washing their blue Mercury Sable outside their garage.
-you read the postcard from your friend who's in England, specifically those farmlands with
huge circles, Stonehenge, and other mysterious places.
-you noticed large raindrops on the roof. Sound familiar ??
-even your newborn baby cries like Serena !!!
-Queen Beryl has sent Wily E. Coyote to show his stuff on the Sailor Scouts, assuming his
gadgets don't backfire on him first.
-you'd rather watch a repeat SM episode than anything else.
-your favorite baseball player holds the bat in the same way that SM holds her magic wand.
-you saw SM or TM beside the logo and wonder if that's their respective signature.
-you pretty much know that Serena's school is located on Kimagure Orange Rd.
-you buy anything (even non-SM stuff) that has the names.
-your friends spotted a bunch of Combustible Campus Guardians surrounding Crossroads
Junior High, just in case the Negaverse shows up for another attack.
-the Negaverse has sent Freddy Krueger to do the job. As an SM fan, you naturally know
-your family doctor jokingly said that there's a rainbow crystal inside your body.
-even your favorite basketball player shouts "Slam dunk power" !!
-your mom plants a new rose garden.
-Serena's image is now part of the Netscape Navigator logo.
-you pit the Scouts against the Power Rangers (and the VR Troopers).
-some Depeche Mode songs come to mind:
People are People, Can't get enough, Strange Love, etc.
-your little bro has just spotted the Scouts in the latest edition of Where's Waldo.
-just seeing either or both Luna & Artemis makes you wanna say, "I tawt I taw a puddy tat" !!!
-the Negaverse is now seen on the X-Files.
-the Nike employees watch the Scouts on their TV, and keep asking if it really is the shoes
(simply put, they "Just Do It").
-you check every clock in your house to make sure they don't emit something evil at midnite.
-Carmen Sandiego was last seen in one episode.
(DIC also produced this series, too)
-you have every intention to moving to any city named after one of the Scouts (e.g. Jupiter,
Florida; Neptune, Sask.; Saturna, B.C., etc.)
-MTV has just started the SM channel. All SM, all the time.
-at the English Dartboard Championships, your friend has just seen one competitor holding a
set of rose-shaped darts !!!
-a bunch of Boy & Girl Scouts (no relation) surround a campfire at night, and look straight at it.
-you search all over town for the nearest Shinto temple.
-you claimed to have seen the Imperium Silver Crystal in one those pyramids which house the
-you interviewed Neil Armstrong for if the Lunar footprint he made in '69 is indeed on the spot
where the Moon Kingdom once stood in the past millenium.
-the Time Inc. Magazine Co. has just published the latest issue of People mag, featuring Darien
as the Sexiest Man of the Year (this is the same publisher who does the annual Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Just something you'd like to know).
-even your grammar teacher now prefixes "Sailor" to almost every noun you can imagine.
-you were arrested in Buckingham Palace in London, England for throwing the royal tiaras
-at the annual Psychic Fair, your family has just seen the same crystal ball used by Queen
Beryl, now on the selling block.
-at the local greenhouse, you hear the SM soundtrack being played to plants (this is a scientific
fact for which plants can grow at a variable rate depending on the music played, they can react
by growing faster or slower, or the reverse).
-the tuxedo outfit has become the "in" thing, not just for proms.
-at the Science Fair, you noticed Serena & Co. having done a joint project on the Solar System
and the planets, while Darien has one on the aerodynamics of roses.
-some Cyndi Lauper songs come to mind: Girls just wanna have fun, She-Bop, True Colors,
-the community park attendant shouts "Venus Crescent Beam Smash" just before he/she turns
the Stadium lights on.
-the Negaverse has sent Itchy & Scratchy to do the job, assuming they don't kill each other first.
-even the DJ has his/her own dance mix of the SM soundtrack.
-some Roy Orbison songs come to mind:
Pretty Woman, Mystery Girl, You Got It, Only the Lonely, etc.
-you saw Serena rent the movie "Pulp Fiction" from the local Blockbuster Video store,
specifically for the famous dance scene where John Travolta does the SM pose thing.
-you asked Mina why the sudden interest in watching the FOX NHL broadcasts, and you've just
found out that it's the red beam glow, which works when the puck speeds above 70 mph (113
-the firefighter shouts "Mercury water blast !" just before the hose was on to shoot the water at
-you read the latest book of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, going straight for the Greek &
Roman sections. Instead of the actual gods and goddess (Venus), you see the Sailor Scouts
representing each one!
-you heard that Tom Cruise will sport the VR helmet Amy uses, in the upcoming TOP GUN
-Amy just happens to be the other finalist in the World Chess Championships.
-you received a postcard from Darien & Serena who are now in the Netherlands, specifically for
the Rose & Tulip Festival. Next, you read the other postcard from Greg & Amy who are touring
Germany now that DIC won't be producing new shows anytime soon.
-you believe that ID Software Inc. is responsible for helping create the "Doom" tree.
-you even went so far as to search for SM's autograph on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
-some Roxette songs come to mind:
Spending my Time, Joyride, Dress for Success, Crash!Boom!Bang!, Dangerous, etc.
-even your expert mechanic keeps saying "Sailor" to every car part you want fixed.
-you and your friend visit the local harbour for any SM fans.
-your idea of the Final Four is just that, the last four episodes of the SM English series.
-you're touring Tokyo, Japan, not just to find Serena & Co., but to also visit the Greenwood
College, Maison Ikkoku, the Samurai Pizza Cats Parlour, any ferry going to Macross Island,
Kimagure Orange Rd., the famous Tendo-Saotome Dojo, and the Phantom Quest Corp.
-your friend asked Paula Abdul if she's Serena's choreographer.
-you and your friends have done a near-perfect design of SM using Christmas lights.
-even Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner say "Helloooo, Scouts !"
-the fact it was done in Canada gets you thinking ...
"I'm Sailor Moon, defender of love and justice, eh ?"
-you got all the voice actors and actresses to give you their vocals for your electronic voice mail
system. (Fact: Jill Frappier is the voice of both Luna and Keroppi.)
-you read a letter from Darien, Serena, and Rini-chan, who are visiting the Caribbean Isles. You
see the photo in which they stand in front of a huge palm tree shaped like Serena's hairstyle ....
-Billy Ray Cyrus and Rini have just done a new song,
"Achy Breaky Pink Sugar Heart Attack".
-the Space Shuttle crew is watching the show from high orbit.
-you go to the cosmetics store for some Moon Cosmic Power Make Up.
-your entire family has started taking bubble baths lately.
-seeing Amy join the Reboot gang makes you think ...
"I'm Sailor Mercury, I come from the Net (not the movie)".
-you scratched the bacterial surface of your 2 Petri dishes to look like Melvin's pair of glasses
(don't do this without supervision of a scientist or teacher).
-at the local arcade, Lita and Malachite play Mortal Kombat.
-you noticed that Serena has avoided some of these TV shows:
30something, Moonlighting, Party of Five, Wings, etc.
-Lita's family has just installed an electrical security fence for their home.
-you joined the Polar Expedition group in hopes of finding the hole to the Negaverse, and
Santa's Workshop as well.
-Simon says he's the one who helped create the Sailor Says part.
-even the Pink Panther likes Rini, too.
-Naoko Takeuchi is (humorously) also the creator behind Microsoft Windows NT (New
-some Elton John songs come to mind:
Believe, Blessed, Can U Feel the Love Tonight, Healing Hands, etc.
-you used a large fan to "blow" the bubbles from your bubble wand.
-at the Woodstock concert, you've just bought a tie-dye shirt featuring Serena and the message
below which reads: "Sailor Moon Says: Have a Nice Day".
-at the local salon, your girlfriend wants her hair done like Rini's.
-the first song you hear on the radio each morning is "Moonlight Desires" from Larry Gowan (a
-Serena is hosting the "serenade" party tonight.
-you photographed a wedding cake featuring the figurine versions of Darien and Serena.
-it's unfortunate that your birthstone is Ruby (as in Rubius).
-some ZZ Top songs come to mind:
Legs; Sharp Dressed Man; Gimme All Your Lovin', etc.
-you and your fiancee ask every local travel agency if their World Tour package includes a trip
to the Moon Kingdom.
-you heard one actress constantly shouting, "Make Up !".
-you place a Sailor Moon sticker over your personal phone card.
-even cows like watching Sailor Moo(n).
-Bart Simpson says, "Wicked Cool, Man."
-you ate some of your large-size pepperoni pizza so that it looks just like a crescent moon.
-your girlfriend goes to the local esthetics shop to get her nails done like Serena's (and
hopefully can glow and shine).
-the fact there are now 13 Senshi makes the Negaverse all the more unluckier than before.
-Miss Haruna is your new teacher in Business English class.
-lightning strikes (more than) twice whenever Lita's around.
-Taz makes for a natural monster for the Negaverse.
-you sympathize the airport maintenance crew, knowing they could get run over by any of the
-you and your friends are happy that Jim Carrey wasn't selected as the voice of Tuxedo "Mask".
-Sailor Mars is doing the Maca-Raye-na !!!
-even your pager gives the SM theme chime.
-your family has similar traits and appearances as Serena's.
-you see the show on the Stadium TV screen.
-many of the Sailor Scouts' humorous mishaps are now seen on America's Funniest Home
Videos (which is originally based on a Japanese show of the same genre).
-all those city scenes you see on each episode are now used in the starting sequence for
Saturday Night Live (watch one to get an idea).
-according to Serena, the value of pi(e) is $3.14 (taxes included).
-some humorous baseball terms include:
Venus Love Chain Triple Play; Jupiter Thunder Pitch;
Luna Balls; Outies; Mars Fire Ball, etc.
-your network system administrator has just installed some SM screen savers into the
Company's computer server.
-you go to detention too many times for unknown reasons.
-you don't need to be a tongue twister to say Sailor Moon many times.
-you and Serena watch the movie (and TV show), Clueless.
-your parents' respective names are Malachite & Zoysite.
-you hear the Smashing Pumpkins song, Luna.
-your sister has just found the hidden Command Centre on the Internet, now if you could just
find Luna to help access it.
-your bro's name is Sammy.
-you create your own YKYWTMSMW humor list.
-you hear that Kenny Loggins song, Footloose (or the Danger Zone).
-according to the Chinese Horoscope, you're born as a Rabbit (the upcoming Rabbit yr. is 1999,
then add 12 for the next one).
-you avoid meeting any person with "Beryl" in their name.
-your cousin has just spotted Darien riding in his motorcycle.
-you buy an atlas map of the Moon, hoping you can find the location of the Moon Kingdom.
-just wearing shades makes you feel "wicked cool".
-your martial arts instructor is doing the (in)famous Queen Beryl hand movements.
-Luna is the one cat you don't mind crossing your path on Friday 13th.
-Rini is disappointed that none of the local hardware stores can make a duplicate of her Crystal
-Serena & Co. are seen in the School Cafeteria eating the newest meal, Macarena & Cheese
(whoops ! That's MACARONI).
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