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Final page of U know U watch way too much Sailor Moon when...

-ever since the Sailor Scouts came here, you noticed radical changes in the local weather patterns.

-your computer network has just suffered yet another (Jupiter Thunder) system crash.

-your math professor is doing a few "Mercury" calculations.

-you and your fiancee spend the romantic evening under the moonlit (k)night.

-the International Olympic Committee has amended the rules for the Discus Throw. Now athletes have to shout "Moon Tiara Magic" before throwing it.

-you use your powerful penlight and shout "Venus Crescent Beam Smash".

-you read an eye chart and noticed something peculiar about it. Some of the lines actually spell the names of the Scouts.

-Amy's pocket computer now has the Intel Pentium II Processor with MMX Technology.

-you have some Sailor Moon Love Cards for Valentine's Day.

-Queen Beryl is now into the environmental habit of saving energy around her home, and everywhere she goes.

-you notice that SM's red "Meatballs" are actually halogen bike lights/reflectors.

-even the Guyver shouts, "Venus Crescent Beam Mega-Smash".

-your gym teacher now introduces "Serena-style cheerleading".

-your sister phones the Gov't Mint and asks them to put the faces of every Scouton to each currency denomination (like $1, 2, 5, 10, etc.).

-after a minor dispute, the two sides "kiss and make up".

-everyone has at least one thermometer, only because it has Mercury in it.

-Tuxedo Mask is known to some as the "Human Stealth Bomber".

-you buy products which have the "Mercury" name on it (like car, records, marine outboards, etc.).

-Raye and Chad were seen at the cinema, watching that Warner Bros. movie, "Mars Attacks".

-you hope for Madonna to wear the Sailor uniform at her next concert.

-you inadvertently included the names of Serena & Co. in your X-mas Files list.

-Sailor Mars is a natural favorite among dragons.

-your little bro has just created his sandcastle with the leftover Moondust of monsters destroyed by you-know-who.

-Malachite has just stolen one of the Patlabors, so as to show the Scouts that he means business.

-Raye's home is always warm during the winter months.

-Mina's home has solar panels on the roof.

-even the Power Rangers, VR Troopers, and Big Bad BeetleBorgs watch the SM show after their missions (and you wonder why they defeat the huge monsters so quickly).

-one gymnast is attempting to do that Luna double somersault, in hopes that something will appear from out of the blue.

-Serena & Co. don't need to buy fireworks since they can produce it themselves (by magic, that is).

-your family subscribes to the National Geographic Society. A few weeks later, you not only have the magazines, but also the respective maps of the Solar System, each of the Planets and its Moons, and the Universe.

-you saw this message on the city map: "Sailor Moon says, you are here".

-at the Karaoke Night Club, Mina is seen singing, "You Light Up My Life".

-Serena is known to some as the "Human Helicopter".

-your idea of spelling relief is "S-A-I-L-O-R M-O-O-N" (or any of the other scouts, or Tuxedo Mask).

-one baker was seen spinning his/her pizza dough, Moon Tiara style.

-some eqpt. found on a typical computer system include: Sailor Monitor, Sailor Keyboard, Sailor Modem, Sailor Cache, Sailor Processor, etc.

-Akane Tendo keeps mistaking Luna for P-Chan.

-you spotted Serena & Co. doing some heavy shopping at the West Edmonton Mall.

-your friend has just bought an external backup drive to save all those SM images and music files.

-your dad carved Queen Beryl's face on the pumpkin.

-your neighbourhood now has a "Mars" Firehall Dept.

-the City Developers want to create a new community near the lake; and name it the Moon Kingdom.

-you want to "sail" the 500-channel universe on your TV.

-one of your three wishes is for SM to return to TV.

-the Moonlight Knight is not the hidden knight of the Round Table in King Arthur's Castle.

-Rini uses her Luna Ball as a GPS sonar to search for some big bass at the lake.

-you and your friends buy some (wicked) cool mints from the local candy store.

-Julie Andrews & Jill Frappier have just done a new parody tune from the Sound of Music: "Just how do you solve a problem like Serena ?".

-Luna, Artemis, and Diane visit the Pizza Cats' Parlour on their off day.

-you and your friends visit my city to meet the voices of the SM show.

-instead of counting sheep, you count the moons in your sleep.

-you wonder how the Sailor Scouts look in Technicolor (TM).

-Lita's clothes have been getting too much static cling lately.

-the referee has just given Lita and Zoysite 5 mins. each for roughing, and an episode misconduct to boot.

-the Negaverse monster draws the foul, and Sailor Moon gets a free shot at it (you know the end result).

-you believe in common sense-shi.

-the Japanese word for zero is "rei" (no joke).

-you only buy sports eqpt. from Mizuno.

-one airport security personnel asks tourists if they're visiting the country for "Sailor" business or for pleasure.

-the French word for March is "mars".

-Serena & Co. are riding on the Streetcar named Desire.

-Kurt Russell stars in, "Escape from the Negaverse" (Well, he did New York and L.A.).

-the moondust is "Gone with the Wind".

-your dad is upgrading his car's engine to the "Sailor" V-8.

-Darien & Serena are attending the annual Rose Bowl Parade in Calif.

-Alvin & the Chipmunks sing the entire SM album, while the Chippettes are dressed Sailor-style.

-the latest census now carries the question of whether you and your family watch too much Sailor Moon.

-Serena & Co. go cuckoo for "Koko Wa Greenwood" (and in Serena's case, Cocoa Puffs cereal).

-your family keeps waking up late each morning.

-you and your friends naturally prefer living in Tokyo over Beverly Hills (or Melrose Place).

-Jedite does a "scout-ing" report on Serena & Co..

-someone plays the Superman theme song whenever Tuxedo Mask appears.

-you've just bought a Venus Fly Trap plant.

-it's confirmed, Jackie Chan is the Sailor Scouts' martial arts instructor, and stunt director (seen his movies lately ?).

-the latest episode of COPS on FOX (not DIC) is filmed in Tokyo of all places.

-your New Year's Resolution is to watch the repeat SM episodes more often.

-you want those anime-ted SM GIF's for your home page.

-many animals are coming your way.

-it isn't just the Sailor Scouts who are doing the Macarena, so is everyone else in the anime world (and industry).

-you say names like Serena-meister, Lita-rama, or the Melvinator.

-the Sailor Scouts' stunts can be considered an extreme sport (as the saying goes, "Don't try this at home").

-you and many others would prefer voting for Sailor Moon over your mayor or politician.

-you've done the full circle on your SM webring (and any other one).

-the show itself can also be known as the true "Mission Impossible".

-Sailor Jupiter's mini lightning rod also doubles as a multi-purpose TV/radio/cellular antenna.

-even mimes can do the Scouts' poses easily.

-you naturally prefer saying, "Moon Prism Power" over "It's Morphin' Time".

-Serena & Rini make a great synchro duo for the upcoming Olympics.

-the judges give the Sailor Scouts perfect 10's across, for technical merit and artistic impression.

-your little daughter has just found the Imperium Silver Crystal instead of the Easter Egg.

-you want to do a tour of Crystal Tokyo.

-like the Energizer Bunny, you want the series to keep going, and going, and going ....

-you prefix "Sailor" to the names of every person you're introduced to (as well as your own).

-Yuri & Kei (a.k.a. The Dirty Pair/Lovely Angels) were spotted wearing the Sailor uniforms.

-Serena & Co. can also be dubbed, "Sailor Scouts 'R' Us".

-only the 101 Dalmations can outnumber the Scouts (but that's it).

-Japan will forever be known as the "Land of the Rising Sun (and Moon)".

-you swore you heard Tuxedo Mask telling Sailor Moon to "Use the Force".

-some Alanis Morissette songs come to mind:
Too Hot; Walk Away; One Hand In My Pocket, etc.

-you even see SM posters at your city's Japanese Consulate.

-you dedicate the next romantic song to your boy/girlfriend, your family, and the one named Sailor Moon.

-Spawn already knows the "Fighting Evil by Moonlight" part.

-your favorite rap artist is (wicked) Coolio.

-the SM theme song starts with Luna's password, "Kitty stalks by moonlight".

-Queen Beryl's slow hand movement is the true reason why she has perfect car driving skills.

-the 3R eco-rule is: Raye-duce, Raye-use; Raye-cycle.

-Eek! the Cat got the autographs of Luna, Artemis, and Diane.

-you were caught at customs in Japan for taking too much of the Japanese SM merchandise from them.

-the latest brochure on touring in Japan now includes animated (and actual) photos of Tokyo.

-there's a new Sailor Scout at that place called Planet Hollywood.

-at the New York Marathon, you and your family witness the Sailor Scouts running to the scene of the crime (along with Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner), ahead of the actual pack of competing runners.

-she decked Queen Beryl's halls with boughs of Moondust, fa la la la la, la la la la.

-each episode lasts 30 mins. (or it's free).

-even Action Man (another DIC show) remembers seeing SM in his virtual dreams.

-you'll always mistake the McDonald's Arches for Serena's meatball hairstyle (You definitely need to have your break today).

-Dorothy & Co. wished they could've met Queen Serenity instead of the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

-you see Lita at the local hobby shop buying comics of the Norse Thunder God, Thor.

-every episode is best viewed with Netscape Navigator.

-Queen Beryl should've considered getting Monster insurance before the series started.

-the show is your virtual (and free) ticket to Tokyo.

-every travel agency is getting their share of people wanting to book their flight to Japan, in hopes of meeting the Sailor Scouts.

-your other favorite rap artist is LL (wicked) Cool J.

-you mistake Darth Vader for the Wiseman.

-even Betty Boop is wearing the Sailor Uniform.

-your new girlfriend's name is Selena (Greek for "Moon Goddess").

-Luna keeps telling Sylvester to stop chasing Tweety Bird.

-your mom names the twin newborns, Luna and Serena.

-some Parachute Club songs come to mind:
Rise Up; Love Is Fire; Dancing at the Feet of the Moon, etc.

-your dad is trying to find his way out-ie of the Garden Maze.

-Rini and Nuku Nuku have one thing in common: their pink hair.

-like Bret Hart, SM's the best there is, was, and ever will be.

-just watching the show makes you wanna say "Tenchi Muyo" (lit. "No need for Tenchi". No need to watch him, either).

-you believe that Shiro Tokisada Amakusa is a fan of Queen Beryl and the Wiseman.

-the Scouts' powers more than prove lethal over the Shaq Attack.

-he says, she says, Simon says, Sailor Moon says ....

-Serena likes Lucky Charms cereal because they're (Moon Tiara) magically delicious.

-Yaten, Seiya, and Taiki Ko watch the Star Wars movie at the local cinema.

-"Chibi" (small) is the new word of choice over "Baby".

-the Spice Girls have something to do with it.

-you can't help but say "Haruna Matata".

-your favorite electronics store is Raye-dio Shack.

-as the French would say, "C'est la vie" (Sailor V).

-there's that Nadeisco character, Ruri Hoshino.

-Serena's often mistaken for the Rugrats character, Angelica.


THAT'S ALL FOLKS !!! Hope you've enjoyed it.

Sailor Moon (c): 1992-2000 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha Ltd.

English version (c): 1995-2000 Toei Animation Co. Ltd./DIC Prod. L.P./AD Vision Inc.
English comics version (c): 1997-2000 Mixx Comics Group


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